Please read the whole thing, I’ve put a lot of time and effort to try to help someone understand who I am, and where I’m coming from. Thanks. 🙂
I’m a 40 year old, 5’4″ Christian guy from Michigan, not too far from Michigan International Speedway (most of us around here just call it MIS). I like the outdoors, enjoy walking nature trails when the weather is nice, and like animals in general, I prefer dogs to cats. I’m a geek, I like to play on the computer, I enjoy Sandbox games like Minecraft, Space Engineers, and ARK: Survival Evolved, Rimworld. I like Star Trek, and other science fiction, adventure related things. I like to look up at the stars, which is more interesting with a meteor shower forecasted, it’s a bit hard to do with all the lights around. I’m honest (maybe too much so for some peoples liking), faithful, caring, considerate, thoughtful, romantic (if given the chance) and have a quirky sometimes subtle sense of humor, that shows more when I’m comfortable. I like irony, sometimes play with double meanings to see who catches it, and friendly jabs. If you can’t laugh at yourself and poke fun at yourself, we might not click that well. I’m active in church, having run sound/tech for pushing 20 years. I am a Christian, but not a religious nut (there is a story to that). I can appreciate sports, but not really into it (a bit of a story there as well). About the only sport I got into for a while was paintball, but my friends lost interest in it. I have something of an eye for landscaping, having been involved in it in some form for a few years. I started to learn to play guitar some years back, and started playing some at church, then it had to be put on the back burner.
My personality is considered INFP (google is your friend), so talking about myself, and getting my thoughts and feelings out of my head into a comprehensible form is a bit of a challenge for me (this page took some time, and goes through changes over time). I’m not good with crowds, and prefer to hangout with 1-3 people at a time. I prefer to talk about more meaningful things, with someone that will listen to understand, not just respond. I can do small talk, but irritates me after a bit if that’s all there is. I’m also not the one that typically starts a conversation, but I can keep one, and might test the waters to see what we can really talk about. I don’t have much interest in politics, I don’t really keep up on sports, and the only cars that really interest me are older ones, often limits the typical guy conversations. You want to talk about tech and computer stuff, movies, I’m game. Yes, I’m a bit weird, what’s your point? lol
While anything is possible, they seem to figure an ENFJ, or ESFJ personalities are the best match for my personality. Such tests are freely available. You can read more here… http://www.personalitypage.com/html/INFP_rel.html or here… http://personalityjunkie.com/infp-relationships-dating-love-compatibility/
I was posting some of my gaming adventures on YouTube for about 2 years, but beginning of 2016 I checked my stats, and decided I wasn’t getting enough interest to warrant the time and energy I was putting into it. It’s too bad, I did kind of enjoy it, and it was something that worked around my introversion some what. It didn’t pan out as well as I would have liked though. It is difficult for me to keep putting myself out there with anything, without any appreciation, or positive feed back. The introvert in me feels like I’m wasting time and energy, that could be put to better use. (10/13/16) – I’ve recently gotten back into doing some YouTube videos again, more casually, and no fancy editing. Just another way I’m trying to put myself out there.
I’ve recently started experimenting with writing poetry. In a way, it works for me, since I sort of already think in abstract thoughts, thus why it takes me a bit work answer deep questions in a way someone else can understand. Poetry kind of skips the translation step, and it’s up to the reader to understand what I’m trying to say. Kind of requires them to have a heart, willingness to understand. 🙂 I have a old friend that I send them to for her thoughts, and so far she thinks I’m doing really well. Course I’m my worst critic. lol
I also got started with pencil coloring. I haven’t colored since I was little, a friend suggested it, and it is kind of fun. As long as you use a light hand, you can do a lot with colored pencils, and there is a lot of online drawings available that you can print, and Dollar General stores (at least here) have adult coloring books for $3 a piece.
I have a Xbox One, and a PlayStation 3, but I’m more of a PC gamer, have been most of my life.
I would like to find a non-judgmental Christian (or at least spiritual, and open minded) woman for a real relationship, a best friend, and partner. I understand we have to start somewhere, and attraction is a thing, I’m not dead. She also needs to be physically and, more importantly, emotionally available. I keep finding one or the other, not both at the same time. Last one I talked to, she was lonely and did want a relationship, was in the area, pretty, smart, liked games, but workaholic and with hurt and fear issues, seemed to understand I was trying, knew I wanted to take her to dinner sometime, but there always seemed to be excuses, and communication break-downs. After about a year of trying on and off, I gave up. So much time and energy into someone I liked and wanted to get to know, for nothing.
So, unknown number of heart breaks and frustrations later, I’m still looking. I’d like to have some similar interests and likes, be able to take long walks and talk, hold hands, do things together. Sometimes I just like quiet company. Some things I find difficult to do by myself that I enjoy, because it’s just not the same. And more importantly, be able to be ourselves. I’d like to able to share and be myself without judgment, or unreasonable expectations. I already know what being cut down and feeling worthless is like, I’d like to be given a fair chance, and find out what a real relationship feels like, complete with good and bad times, they are part of the journey. Relationship is not about 1 person, and compromising (mutually) on something because you care and love someone is the whole point, and seems like many forget that. If you can’t bend a little, you’ll never know what could have been.
A few thoughts on relationships, per my experiences (quotes used in part or in whole)…
- Someone you like or care about, should be a priority, not just an option.
- When you “Like” a flower, you pluck it. When you Love a flower, you water it, and watch it grow.
- Without communication, there is no relationship. Without love, there is no trust. Without trust, here is no reason to continue.
- A relationship is not about you, it’s about US, 2 people making an effort, sharing the good and bad times. There is no such thing as perfect, only right.
This is not all there is to know about me, but maybe it gives you a decent idea. At least that is the goal.
“A writer writes not because he is educated, but because he is driven by the need to communicate. Behind the need to communicate is the need to share. Behind the need to share is the need to be understood. The writer wants to be understood much more than he wants to be respected or praised or even loved.” -Leo Rosten
Vulcan proverbs…
– Nothing that is is unimportant.
– Challenge your preconceptions, or they will challenge you.
– Infinite diversity in infinite combinations.
My take on those… Everything and everyone has a need to be, even if you don’t see it. Your preconceived ideas will some day come back to bite you (some call it karma). And everyone is different, looks, ideas, hobbies, likes and dislikes, how they (try) to communicate, what makes them tick. As long as they don’t force there ideas and life styles on you, what business do you have forcing yours on them? But be open to new ideas, sometimes personal growth isn’t obvious where everyone can see it. Sometimes it’s in your own head and heart, where only someone special will see it, if you let them.
What I post here isn’t for my benefit (if anything, this is a little difficult for me), it’s for yours, if you are listening, and open to it. I’m trying to share who I am. If you can understand, at least to some extent, where I’m coming from, what I’m trying to say, then maybe it benefits both of us. As Leo implied, it’s the intents, the ideas, that are important. Can you understand them? Do you want to?
Links to my other places…
My webpage: http://sirj77.wix.com/about (has more about me, some pictures, and a contact page that goes to my email)
My Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/duras77games
My Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SirJ77 (Don’t spam, and please identify yourself if you message me. Seems odd to have to say that, but, meh.)
(updated 11/18/2017)
Thoughs of SirJ77 